Blog Chapter 9

Personal Journal 9.1

I feel that I can never make my point accurately because you interrupt me before I can express myself. 

I  feel like you can never say anything but a critique, it would be nice to hear something kinder every now and then. 

I have noticed  that you are late more than on time. 

 I feel like you never help me around the house. 

I feel that your behavior is oftentimes childish. 

I think that using "I" at the beginning takes out the iffy part of the statement. Most people don't like to begin the sentence with I because it is more of a declaration. Most times people do not like to declare how they feel, they would rather give subtle hints or go to the other extreme completely which is to be angry. 

9.3

I am a nerd/geek, but I am not a mathematician. 

I am extremely funny, but I am not insincere. 

I am a hard worker, but I am not a genius. 

I am compassionate, but I am not weak. 

9.4

Work

A patient was extremely upset that I could not fit them onto the schedule on one particular night. 

I handled it by telling the patient that we were full, I offered to make them the next available appointment and also gave them the complaint line. 

School

While working on thesis, my topic was not initially approved. Needless to say I panicked because I did not make the deadline. 

I moved forward with my introduction. I worked hard for days, and came to school with a first draft that was acceptable. 

Home

The ceiling fell out again because of leaking pipes.

We called the plumbers again, and scolded them for not doing a proper job the first TWO times. They will fix it again at a discount. 

Blog Chapter 8

Personal Journal 8.1

Urgent and important tasks to complete this week:
Updating senior thesis

Urgent but not important
Fixing the whole in the wall (it will happen soon enough!)

Not urgent but important
Going to my brother's game on Saturday

Not urgent and not important
Cleaning up my room (it is not that messy yet..)

8.3
To me, money is important for survival but also a tool to help others and acquire needs.

My financial goals are to make as much money as possible, or at least enough that I am able to survive on and still be able to donate to others who need it more.

If I had a $100 dollar bill in my wallet, I would put it in the bank.

When I think about paying bills, I feel stressed but understand that this is considered a necessity. It has to be paid.

To me, planning for retirement is important but right now out of my reach.

I worry about having enough money for graduate school.

Money helps me enjoy hobbies.

I don't need money to enjoy reading, I will just go to the library.

8.4
A shirt
I liked the shirt
I don't really ever wear it.

An expensive flash drive
I need one
It broke

A video game
I wanted it... bad
An updated version came out right after I bought it.

A calculator
I needed one
I found out I had one on my phone.

I suppose I would just wait a while until I was for sure that I wanted it or needed it.

Term Paper Blog 4

This change is an ongoing process. Anger will always be something that I battle with. Changing a mental process, and the way that someone reacts to a situation is not an overnight thing. It is not something that happens in a year or two years. This will be an issue I deal with for the rest of my life. As long as I have the tools to deal with it, I should be fine. I have some good tips, and some decent methods that will help me in sorting out the anger and dealing with it properly. These are tips that I will still practice even after this course.

As far as recommending this book, I don't think I would necessarily. Although it was helpful, most of it did not actually talk about how a person should deal with anger and then let it go. Most of the book centered on helping Christians, which is great and all but even people of other religions have anger issues. This book would not really help these people. I think he has many great points that involve a higher being, but I think I was expecting more along the lines of tools that I could do myself that would help me in releasing anger and resentment.

Term Paper Blog 3

This blog is to report any progress on lessons learned from the book previously mentioned in Term Paper Blog 2.

So far, I have not had any real confrontations with people. So it is difficult to say whether I have progress in those areas. I have noticed a change when I am in the car. I have terrible road rage, and most of the anger experienced is not anger that is justifiable (according to this book). So I follow the steps outlined in the book such as admitting that you are angry, deciding what type of anger it is, taking a deep breath, and instantly I calm down. Now these are not the direct steps listed in the book because those are intended in face to face confrontation. Like I said above, I have not experienced a confrontation that would require me to use these new skills so I have kind of been molding them a bit and trying to apply them to times when I am angry or irritated.

This is not something that can change over night. I still have problems with anger, and there are still times when I am so angry that I have a hard time picking through that anger, but I think these steps are going to help me in the future.

Blog Chapter 7

Personal Journal 7.1

Transform each negative statement into a positive.

I have to work hard on my resume, or else I won't get any interviews.
- Perfecting my resume will show potential bosses that I deserve and will do well at their work places.

I'm gathering references because no one will hire me without them.
-Providing references will give future bosses a tool in discovering how hard a worker I am.

I'm applying for lots of jobs because I don't want to feel like I missed an opportunity.
-The more jobs I apply to, the more my name is out there.

I need to practice interview techniques to I don't bungle it on the big day.
- I should prepare before my interview to make sure I show others how interested I am in the job.

I have to follow up on the interview, or else they'll think I don't want the job.
-Following up on the interview will display my enthusiasm about working with them.

Blog Chapter 6

Personal Journal 6.2

Impulse:  Yelling when I am angry.

I suppose that the satisfying short-term consequences of giving in to this impulse are that I feel like I am being heard, and it almost feels that a weight is being lifted off of me on the inside because my anger is almost like a weight that puts pressure on me.

Negative long-term consequences due to the above impulse is that a lot of my family members to not respect me for it. Also, it makes them fearful to come and communicate with me. That person is not the person I want to be, and that inability to control anger can only lead me down a pathway to someone who will not be as accepting of it.

I do not believe that the short-term consequences outweigh the long-term consequences. Shouting at people just because I do not cope with anger very well is not acceptable.

I can remove myself from the situation until I calm down, and then talk it over when I am calmer. This is what I have been doing and I am definitely doing better!

Personal Journal 6.4

Option 1: Where to go to Grad School          

 Goals it would support: Getting a doctorate degree                          
Values it would support: Hard work, perseverance, Accomplishment, advancement, ambition, success.
Goals it would contradict: Getting out of Tennessee since I cannot afford to go to school out of state.
Values it would contradict: Adventure, liberation, fun, growth, exploration

Option 2:  Not going to Grad School

Goals it would support: Being on my own, but there are really no goals. I have to go to Grad School.
Values it would support: None that I am interested in.
Goals it would contradict: Obtaining a higher degree in education.
Values it would contradict: All of the values listed as supporting values in option 1.

I would choose to go to Grad School, or course.

Term Paper Blog 2

I chose to write my term paper on Anger. Handling A Powerful Emotion In A Healthy Way, by Gary Chapman. I am going to be honest. I thought this book was going to be a lot more helpful than it really turned out to be. He made some excellent points, but it was real religious based. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that, but the book read to a Christian audience. To someone who does not really place themselves in a particular religious group, this book could be a bit difficult to agree or practice. Many of his ideas to help with anger were practices that I already try to do. He did mention a few things about passive aggressive behavior I found interesting, and also harboring resentment. I don't expect to discover as much of a result as I originally thought, but I do think that this will help me in the future. I am going to have to work really hard on communicating effectively. Also, I am going to have to work really hard on determining what type of anger I am feeling. Is it anger due from an injustice, or is it anger of a perceived wrong but not necessarily a wrong? The last thing I am going to have to change is harboring resentment. Mr. Chapman says in his book that you should give it all to God and as a result you will not longer harbor it. However,  I think that is easier said than done. I find that I have issues with thinking I let it go only to realize down the road that perhaps I did not. I have not has as many opportunities to become angry as of yet. Basically, several things must happen (which I have been practicing). Admit to myself that I am angry. Identify what type of anger it is. Talk to someone close about the issue. Talk to the actual person who participated in making me angry. Once it is resolved, let it go. If it is not resolved, remove that person from my life and let it go. I do anticipate difficulties. It is never easy to retrain how your brain works. My first instinct when angry is to explode, or to remove myself. Defense mechanisms are never easy to change. The same goes for how someone normally deals with a problem, even if it is not the healthiest of ways to deal with it. I think this is going to be a trial and error experience. I cannot say that I know how I will handle these difficulties. I imagine though that I will do alright with the outlined steps above. 

Blog Chapter 5

Personal Journal 5.1

Today I'm grateful for:

1. My family.
2. My job.
3. My sense of humor.

Three good things that happened to me today:

1. I voted!!
2. Homework assignments are on time.
3. Test scores are up.

Three good things that I have to look forward to in the future:

1. A good job.
2. A college education.
3. A better version of myself.

Personal Journal 5.3

Irrational Belief:
I must succeed at everything.
Rational Belief:
I would like to succeed in everything that I set my mind to do.

Irrational Belief:
I should never make mistakes.
Rational Belief.
I would like to avoid making mistakes as much as possible, but understand that making them is also how a person grows.

Irrational Belief:
I should worry about every bad thing that could possibly happen.
Rational Belief:
I would rather not worry about ever bad thing, especially since worrying does not solve the issue in the first place. Action does.

Irrational Belief:
My past is the cause of all my problems.
Rational Belief:
I would like to avoid harping on the past, especially since the past is not the cause of all my problems. Some problems are caused by stupid decisions and have nothing to do with the past.

Review and Activities Number 12

I do have a quotation that means something to me. Really, there are many that I have found over the years. I have quite a few from Ralph Waldo Emerson, but the following is one of my favorites.

"Is it so bad then to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood and Socrates and Jesus and Luther and Copernicus and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood." -Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Blog Chapter 4

Personal Journal 4.2

When I avoid                                               Problem                                               When I cope

Disgusted                                                    Social activities                                       Happy

Depressed                                                                                                                 Funny

Hopeless                                                                                                                  Likable

Did the feeling of coping with the problem make you feel better about yourself
-No, I think it takes more than just thinking about it. Thinking about it and not doing anything just makes it worse for me. If I am going to feel better about it I need to turn my thoughts into actions, which is easier said than done.

What is one action you could take today to start coping with this problem?
I could probably go out and do more things with people. I am already starting to do so, so I suppose that is a good thing.

Blog Chapter 3

Personal Journal 3.3

To reduce the stressed caused by chores around the house, I will make lists and schedules that will assist me in completing them in a timely manner.

To reduce the stressed caused by homework, I will take each assignment by assignment and complete them the best I can and the fastest I can. I will make lists and schedule that will help me time manage more effectively.

To reduce the stress caused by things that I cannot control, I will work to exercise in order to blow off steam and keep things in perspective.

Blog Chapter 2

How Well Do You Know Yourself? 2.1

The person who knows me best would probably me my mother or sister.

One of my dreams in life is to gain the highest college degree I can.

Three adjectives that best describe me well are funny, reliable, and understanding.

What I like most about myself is my ability to work hard.

What I like least about myself is my outward appearance.

I am good at making people laugh.

I am not very good at math (eeeww).

I enjoy reading.

I don't enjoy running.

Three careers that interest me are Psychiatrist, Forensic Psychologist, and/or Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner.

My purpose in life is to help people.

* I don't really like to talk about myself very much. I would much rather talk to other people about themselves. I guess you could say I enjoy analyzing other people more than I like doing it about myself. I did not have a hard time filling this out. I know that my purpose in life is to serve and help others in the best way that I can. I have known this to be my calling ever since I was a child. It is my passion, and the only way I know how to relate to others.

2.2

I've always wanted to travel.

If I were to receive an award, I would want it to be for working the hardest or being the most successful.

The things that make life worth living are family, laughter, fall and winter!

The best thing that could possibly happen to me is losing weight and obtaining a medical or doctorate degree.

If I were nearing the end of my life, I would regret not having many friends closer to me.

* Four or five dreams that I have right now would be: to obtain a medical or doctorate degree, to go traveling, to like my outward appearance more, and to be recognized as a significant part of society.

2.3

Activities that make me feel energized and alive are reading, doing crossword puzzles, analyzing people,and laughing.

If I were at a bookstore, the areas that I would enjoy browsing the most in would be the mystery section.

English and spelling used to be the subjects I enjoyed the most in school, but it has shifted to Psychology.

I could talk about Psychology all day long!

When I was a child, I was obsessed with  going on adventures in the woods outside, experiments in the sink, barbies, and reading (Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia.... oh yeah).

* All of my interests appear to be interrelated. I loved to read as a child,English and Spelling were subjects I loved. I love Psychology and I love to people watch. I do believe that Psychology, mysteries, English, Spelling, and reading are strong interests that I have.

Blog Chapter 1

Blog activity 2 page 12 " how do you see yourself"

Rate yourself 1-10  with how strongly you agree1 is total disagreement and 10 total agreement. Identify the three areas to which you gave the highest ratings. What are you particularly proud of in these areas. Now look at the low ratings. Is it possible you are over critical of yourself?

The three areas that I had the highest ratings in were

5. I have  a good sense of humor. 

7. I am competent on the job.

11. I am a moral person

I believe that I am proud of all of them. I am very proud to have a such a great sense of humor because laughter provides the most amazing feeling. I am very proud to be competent on the job because it means I am a hard worker, a team player, and person who genuinely cares about the mission that the workplace sets. I am very proud to know that I am a moral person. I make mistakes just like everyone else, but I know underneath it all I am a good person. 

Yes, I believe that I am overcritical of myself. The truth is that I would rather be overcritical than no where near to being critical of myself any day of the week. I think there are areas I need to work on, and I don't think there is anything wrong in realizing what those areas are and improving them. On a bad day, being overcritical really is difficult to deal with. My mother always tells me that I beat myself up to much about things, that I am too hard on myself, and that I put too much pressure on myself to be perfect. I think I am better than I was when I was younger, but I also think retraining the brain to think and perceive things differently takes time. Perhaps it will take a lifetime for me, but I know that I am going in the right direction. 

First Term Paper Blog Entry

So, in this blog entry we are supposed to report our topic and the book we have chosen. I have chosen resentment, specifically how to let go of resentment that has built up for years. There has been a lot of anger in the pasts of myself and family. Overtime that anger has turned into resentment. Although certain family members have not voiced it or acted on it recently, it is there right underneath the skin so to speak. I think it is important to learn how to let go of that resentment, because really it is a trap. Nobody wants to be in a trap. I chose "Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way" by Gary Chapman to help me in completing this term paper.

I am hoping that this educational adventure will provide some insight as to how to better this issue. I know that it will take more than just reading and doing. It will take time, energy, and consistency. However, I am hoping that this will plant the seed for improvement. Every major change starts somewhere, and with baby steps. So, let the baby stepping and the planting of the seeds begin!